“Let my lover come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” Song of Songs 4:16
Someone once said that in matters of sex, men are like microwaves and women are like crockpots. There is certainly some truth to that cooking analogy—husbands can reach their “boiling point” before many wives have even decided what’s on the menu! Why would God make men and women this way? Don’t our different makeups set us up for conflict when our attention turns to physical intimacy?
I believe the Lord knew just what He was doing when He established these fundamental differences between us. After all, if women were more like men, we’d all probably spend so much time in the bedroom that we’d never get anything else done. And if men were more like women, we’d enjoy many more meaningful conversations—but the species might just disappear!
Our differences are what make life so interesting and invigorating. They force us to reach out, to grow, to appreciate our partner. When a husband is extroverted and the wife is introverted, the husband draws out the wife, while the wife helps the husband take time to reflect. When a wife is spontaneous and her husband is a planner, she brings energy and excitement to his life, while he adds stability to hers.
So it is with sex. Emotional and physical differences create interest and excitement. We encourage you to celebrate them! After all, when marital partners are joined as “one flesh,” it is more than a physical union. We are merging our whole beings—body, mind, and spirit—in a wonderful and sacred encounter. This is just what your loving God intended. You can enjoy the variety that each of you brings to your marriage—no matter what you’re cooking.
- Shirley M Dobson
- From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James
& Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.