Although the battle for healthy self‐confidence is most often fought by women, many men also struggle with the issue. Unlike a woman, a man derives his sense of worth primarily from the reputation he earns in his job or profession. He draws emotional satisfaction from achieving in business, becoming financially independent, developing a highly respected skill, being the “boss,” or being loved and appreciated by his patients, clients, or business associates. When his career fails, however, look out.
His confidence often falters, and he becomes vulnerable. Depression, anger, and withdrawal are just some of his potential responses. Wives, here’s something to remember: More than anything, your man needs your respect. Compliment him on the qualities you most admire in him. Avoid comments that debase or embarrass him—especially in the eyes of others. As much as is reasonably possible, understand and support his career, but also create such an affirming atmosphere at home that he will be happy to leave career concerns at the office.
The better you understand your differences, the more you’ll appreciate the gift that is your mate.
Just between us…
- (wife) What achievement are you proudest of?
- (wife) Are you satisfied with the current state of your career?
- (wife) How can I help you with your career?
- (wife) How can I show more respect for you and what you do?
(wife) Father, thank You for my husband—for the energy, skills, and ambitions you’ve placed in him. Help him to know that You love him no matter how he performs, and please help me show him the honor and respect I feel. Amen.
From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.