When My Mad is Too Big
Today’s Truth
I pondered them in my mind. ~Nehemiah 5:7a (NIV)
Friend to Friend
We all have to deal with anger. One of the first steps in dealing with
our anger – God’s way - is admitting that we are angry. That sounds so
simple. It isn’t.
Instead of admitting that we are angry, we explain away our fury by
using the excuse that we are simply upset. Really! We are just
frustrated. My personal favorite is that while I may look and sound
angry, what I really am is exhausted and tired. Why is it so hard to
admit that we are just plain mad? It is the first step to dealing with
anger - the right way.
Admitting our anger does not mean giving that anger free reign. In
fact, just the opposite is true. Nehemiah beautifully illustrates how to
harness anger by pondering it. “Ponder” literally means “to
deliberately examine, to contemplate or to weigh” and is the picture of a
revolving door.
Interesting!
Don’t miss this mental picture from Nehemiah.
When anger strikes, we need to gain control of our thoughts,
contemplating them, and examining them from every angle and every side
before expressing them.
Proverbs 19:11 issues
a warning that “people with good sense restrain their anger.” In other
words, if we have good sense, we will learn to harness our anger. That
means we should control our anger instead of allowing our anger to
control us - easy to say, but almost impossible to do. In fact, it is
totally impossible to control anger without the power of God at work in
our hearts and lives.
One of the most effective ways to harness our anger is to postpone it until we are ready to handle it in a healthy way.
The writer of Proverbs 29:11 is
very clear when he writes, “A stupid man gives free rein to his anger; a
wise man waits and lets it grow cool.” I am used to hearing teenagers
say, “Cool it!” but never realized that cooling it really is a spiritual
exercise.
When our daughter was about six years old, she and I engaged in a
battle of wills. I wanted her to go to sleep. However, she had other
plans for the evening, none of which included sleep. After several
heated conversations and a few slammed doors, Danna realized that I was
not going to give in. With a huff and a puff, she stomped to her room,
furious with her overly demanding mother.
An hour passed.
I went to make peace.
When I knocked on Danna’s door and walked in, Danna was sitting on
the bed, arms crossed, teeth clinched, and eyes flashing. Obviously, she
was still angry.
“Danna, I think we need to talk about this,” I began. Her response
was immediate and sure, “Mama, I can’t talk right now. My mad is too
big!” There was great truth in my daughter’s words.
When Jesus saw the moneychangers in His Father’s temple, He was
furious! But He stopped, stepped to the side, and began braiding a whip –
not because He had taken a course in whip braiding – but because His
mad was too big and like Nehemiah, He was cooling it.
Then - with harnessed anger - Jesus Christ drove the moneychangers
out of His Father’s house, illustrating the truth that the longer you
hold your temper, the more it improves.
How many of us have fallen victims to a vicious circumstance that
began with one angry word, thought, or deed? Satan constantly stokes the
fire of anger in our hearts, our lives, and our relationships with his
lies and half-truths. I suspect he laughs and dances on the grave of
every life he has destroyed because of a failure to deal with anger in a
healthy and godly way.
Anger is a consuming and malignant emotion if left unchecked. I pray
that anger will have no power in our lives as we choose to confront and
deal with it – God’s way.
Let’s Pray
Father, please forgive me when I allow anger to control what I say and
do. I want to honor You in the way I manage the anger in my life. Fill
my heart with Your peace. Help me cultivate the spiritual discipline of
anger management and learn how to control my emotions instead of
allowing them to control me.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Would people who know you well describe you as an angry person?
Memorize the verses below. When you are angry, speak these verses aloud
and ask God to fill your heart with His peace.
James 1:19-20 “Everyone
should be slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does
not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”
More from the Girlfriends
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Girlfriends in God
We all have to deal with anger.
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