When It Never Feels Like Enough
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
~ John 14:27 (NIV)
Friend to Friend
As I stand in the middle of Sur La Table, my favorite kitchen store, I pass over the cookware and utensils that beckon me (I’m a sucker for kitchen gadgets.) and head straight for the cookbook I came to get. It’s my stepson’s birthday. Jeremy is a talented chef and I know that the new Alton Brown cookbook will be exactly what he wants.
But then, right there in the middle of the store, I start to panic. Will it be enough?
Will it be enough to show Jeremy how much we love him? Step-relationships can be tricky, and I want to make sure that Jeremy knows he is a priority for me. Will this cookbook, along with the party and the other gift, be enough for him? I start to doubt myself and the book I hold in my hand. So, I start marching around the store, throwing utensils and towels into my basket so that I can make sure the gift looks like enough.
This has been a common theme throughout my life—feeling like not enough. And when I’m feeling like I’m not enough, I hustle by doing more, buying more and trying to be more than I am to make up for my lack of “enough.”
But hustle is the world’s answer to fear: work harder, do more, buy more and you will feel okay.
God’s answer to fear is dramatically different: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV) God wants us to reject what the world thinks—that hustle is what will get us peace—and instead renew our minds. God knows that the world’s pattern will never lead to peace, only the radical, counter-cultural act of replacing our worldly thoughts with His thoughts.
So, when the ugly, broken thoughts of being not enough start to invade my thinking (and my shopping cart) I need to break those patterns of thinking and replace them with these truths:
- The goal of giving gifts is celebrating the person, not building the relationship.
- It is presence, not presents, that builds relationships.
- I will never become more by buying more.
- God has promised He will provide everything I need. I don’t have to hustle when I’m in God’s perfect plan.
Dear Lord, thank you for being more than enough for me, in my life, in my day and in my relationships. Let me always look to You when I am feeling less than enough.
In Jesus’ Name,
Now It’s Your Turn
Are there areas of your life where you overspend or overdo because you feel less than enough? What is one step of faith that you could take (A week-long spending fast? Taking two to-dos off your calendar?) to trust in God more when fear rises up?
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