Saturday, July 30, 2016

Night Light for Couples - Men Have a Six-word Limit

by Erma Bombeck

I have publicly stated that men speak approximately six words a day in their homes. A few readers have challenged me and want to know what the six words are.

I should have qualified my statement. The six words are not necessarily spoken in sequence, nor are they necessarily spoken to wives.

A friend of mine, for example, has a husband who saves his six words until the Carson show has signed off and she is fast asleep. Then he snaps on all the lights in the bedroom, punches his pillow, shakes her out of a sound slumber and says, “Did you turn off the hose?”(6)

Some men will blow their quota at one time.

They’ll garage the car, make tracks to the kitchen, take the lid off the fry pan and announce loudly, “I had it for lunch.”(5) Then, realizing he has used only five words, he will add, “Yuck!”

Others will spend a half dozen words in obscenities directed toward Bobby’s bicycle in the driveway.

My week gets off to a slow start but builds to a feverish climax. Monday, Me: “Say something.” Him: “What ya want me to say?”(6) Tuesday, Me: “What kind of day did you have?”

Him: “Don’t aggravate me. You wouldn’t believe.”(6) Wednesday, Me: “Try me.” Him: “Where’s the rest of the paper?”(6) Thursday, Me: “We had a crisis here today.”

Him: “The dog isn’t lost, is he?”(6)

Friday, Me: “Guess what? Know who called today? And is coming to dinner? And is bringing her new husband with her? And can’t wait to talk your arm off? Are you ready?”

Him: “No. No. No. No. No. No.”(6)

Saturday, Me: “I’ll be out for a while. I’ve got some errands to do at the shopping center.”

Him: “Admit it. My chattering gets on your nerves.”(8)

Sunday, Me: “Do you know you spoke eight words to me yesterday? I wouldn’t be surprised if you were starting a new trend.”

Him: “Don’t count on it.”(4)

Part of man’s silence is woman’s doing. We created the strong, silent, masculine image. The silence represented deep thought, a repression of emotions. A quiet man was an island of mystery, a challenge to probe and discover as years went on. I always thought a quiet man was subtle and romantic.

But that was before I started arguing with the tropical fish over which channel we were going to watch.

LOOKING AHEAD

The art of communication doesn’t come naturally to all of us. Some folks just don’t like to talk much. Others talk incessantly without ever really saying anything. But when it comes to marriage, communication is one of the keys to success. Those who master this skill are likely to enjoy a meaningful, fulfilling, productive relationship. Those who continually fail to understand each other, however, often feel isolated and alone. It is a major contributor to divorce.

We’ll offer some tips this week that can improve your communication skills. I hope that by next Sunday your daily word count will be at least in the double digits—and even more, that your partner will understand what you say.

- James C Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.
“Men Have a Six‐Word Limit” by Erma Bombeck, from Forever, Erma © 1996 by the Estate of Erma Bombeck. Reprinted with permission of Andrews and McMeel Publishing. All rights reserved.

NIV Devotions for Couples - When Is My Burden Yours?

Galatians 6:1–10

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

People who work with ocean-going ships will tell you that it’s critical to check the way the cargo load is distributed in the vessel. If the cargo is too heavy, the ship will ride too low in the water and won’t be able to travel at a good speed. If the load is too light, the ship will ride too high in the water and bob like a cork, especially when storms hit. The ship needs the proper amount of cargo for it to make the best progress across the ocean.

Life works like that for Christians too. When our burdens are too heavy, we can become so depressed and weary that we can hardly do our work, much less be a testimony of God’s grace to others. When our burdens are too light, we find it difficult to empathize with others who are carrying a heavy load, or we find ourselves aimless and restless. We need the proper balance between load carrying and load sharing to progress in our Christian walk.

Paul knew this. By commanding us to share each other’s burdens, he was echoing Jesus’ words: “A new command I give you: Love one another” (John 13:34). The apostle warns us not to question the loads of others, thinking we’re better than they are because we don’t have their particular problems. “If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves,” he said (Galatians 6:3). Instead, Paul tells us to examine ourselves, pick up our own loads and help others when we are called to do so.

When we look at problems in marriage, we see the same principle in place: If one spouse is sinking under a load of guilt, troubles or sin, while the other is bobbing around with seemingly no concern, anger and resentment will build. An unbalanced load will only stress and slow down the marital relationship. So to keep moving together in the right direction, we must remain firmly yoked together as we lovingly share each other’s problems and do what we can to help each other deal with them.

But what do we do when our problems become too heavy for the two of us to carry? There may come a time when we need to look for help from others outside the marriage. When we feel overwhelmed by severe problems such as sexual addiction, alcohol abuse or clinical depression, it’s time to get help. Going to a Christian doctor, counselor or pastor is not taking the easy way out—for some, admitting a problem in the marriage is an agonizing first step. But it is a necessary step for many couples that need help adjusting to life’s problems, to a family crisis or simply to each other.

One caution: It is tempting to turn to friends, family and coworkers to vent our marital problems. This is rarely a good idea. Problems inside a marriage can almost never be solved by taking them outside the marriage, unless it’s to a qualified professional. Letting too many people know about our marital struggles just burdens us with the responsibility of keeping others updated. It may force friends or family members to side with one spouse while distancing themselves from the other. And it will drain emotional energy from a marital relationship. Offering our spouses privacy within the marital relationship will keep trust in each other intact and will demonstrate our continued love and respect for each other as we learn better ways of sharing our load.

Valerie Van Kooten

Let’s Talk
  • What burdens have each of us had to shoulder in our marriage? What burdens have we weathered together?
  • What are some practical ways we can help each other manage the burdens we are carrying right now?
  • How can we help others who are struggling with marital problems? What are some cautions to exercise in doing that?

The Daily Readings for July 30, 2016

Judges 5:19-31
"The kings came, they fought; then fought the kings of Canaan, at Taanach, by the waters of Megiddo; they got no spoils of silver. The stars fought from heaven, from their courses they fought against Sisera. The torrent Kishon swept them away, the onrushing torrent, the torrent Kishon. March on, my soul, with might! "Then loud beat the horses' hoofs with the galloping, galloping of his steeds. "Curse Meroz, says the angel of the LORD, curse bitterly its inhabitants, because they did not come to the help of the LORD, to the help of the LORD against the mighty. "Most blessed of women be Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, of tent-dwelling women most blessed. He asked water and she gave him milk, she brought him curds in a lordly bowl. She put her hand to the tent peg and her right hand to the workmen's mallet; she struck Sisera a blow, she crushed his head, she shattered and pierced his temple. He sank, he fell, he lay still at her feet; at her feet he sank, he fell; where he sank, there he fell dead. "Out of the window she peered, the mother of Sisera gazed through the lattice: 'Why is his chariot so long in coming? Why tarry the hoofbeats of his chariots?' Her wisest ladies make answer, indeed, she answers the question herself: 'Are they not finding and dividing the spoil?-- A girl or two for every man; spoil of dyed stuffs for Sisera, spoil of dyed stuffs embroidered, two pieces of dyed work embroidered for my neck as spoil?' "So perish all your enemies, O LORD! But may your friends be like the sun as it rises in its might." And the land had rest forty years.

Acts 2:22-36
"You that are Israelites, listen to what I have to say: Jesus of Nazareth, a man attested to you by God with deeds of power, wonders, and signs that God did through him among you, as you yourselves know-- this man, handed over to you according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of those outside the law. But God raised him up, having freed him from death, because it was impossible for him to be held in its power. For David says concerning him, 'I saw the Lord always before me, for he is at my right hand so that I will not be shaken; therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced; moreover my flesh will live in hope. For you will not abandon my soul to Hades, or let your Holy One experience corruption. You have made known to me the ways of life; you will make me full of gladness with your presence.' "Fellow Israelites, I may say to you confidently of our ancestor David that he both died and was buried, and his tomb is with us to this day. Since he was a prophet, he knew that God had sworn with an oath to him that he would put one of his descendants on his throne. Foreseeing this, David spoke of the resurrection of the Messiah, saying, 'He was not abandoned to Hades, nor did his flesh experience corruption.' This Jesus God raised up, and of that all of us are witnesses. Being therefore exalted at the right hand of God, and having received from the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, he has poured out this that you both see and hear. For David did not ascend into the heavens, but he himself says, 'The Lord said to my Lord, "Sit at my right hand, until I make your enemies your footstool."' Therefore let the entire house of Israel know with certainty that God has made him both Lord and Messiah, this Jesus whom you crucified."

Matthew 28:11-20
While they were going, some of the guard went into the city and told the chief priests everything that had happened. After the priests had assembled with the elders, they devised a plan to give a large sum of money to the soldiers, telling them, "You must say, 'His disciples came by night and stole him away while we were asleep.' If this comes to the governor's ears, we will satisfy him and keep you out of trouble." So they took the money and did as they were directed. And this story is still told among the Jews to this day. Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Morning Psalms

Psalm 75 Confitebimur tibi
1   We give you thanks, O God, we give you thanks, calling upon your Name and declaring all your wonderful deeds.
2   I will appoint a time, says God; I will judge with equity.
3   Though the earth and all its inhabitants are quaking, I will make its pillars fast.
4   I will say to the boasters, 'Boast no more, ' and to the wicked, 'Do not toss your horns;
5   Do not toss your horns so high, nor speak with a proud neck.'"
6   For judgment is neither from the east nor from the west, nor yet from the wilderness or the mountains.
7   It is God who judges; he puts down one and lifts up another.
8   For in the LORD'S hand there is a cup, full of spiced and foaming wine, which he pours out, and all the wicked of the earth shall drink and drain the dregs.
9   But I will rejoice for ever; I will sing praises to the God of Jacob.
10   He shall break off all the horns of the wicked; but the horns of the righteous shall be exalted.


Psalm 76 Notus in Judæa
1   In Judah is God known; his Name is great in Israel.
2   At Salem is his tabernacle, and his dwelling is in Zion.
3   There he broke the flashing arrows, the shield, the sword, and the weapons of battle.
4   How glorious you are! more splendid than the everlasting mountains!
5   The strong of heart have been despoiled; they sink into sleep; none of the warriors can lift a hand.
6   At your rebuke, O God of Jacob, both horse and rider lie stunned.
7   What terror you inspire! who can stand before you when you are angry?
8   From heaven you pronounced judgment; the earth was afraid and was still;
9   When God rose up to judgment and to save all the oppressed of the earth.
10   Truly, wrathful Edom will give you thanks, and the remnant of Hamath will keep your feasts.
11   Make a vow to the LORD your God and keep it; let all around him bring gifts to him who is worthy to be feared.
12   He breaks the spirit of princes, and strikes terror in the kings of the earth.

Evening Psalms

Psalm 23 Dominus regit me
1   The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.
2   He makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters.
3   He revives my soul and guides me along right pathways for his Name's sake.
4   Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5   You spread a table before me in the presence of those who trouble me; you have anointed my head with oil, and my cup is running over.
6   Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.


Psalm 27 Dominus illuminatio
1   The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom then shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom then shall I be afraid?
2   When evildoers came upon me to eat up my flesh, it was they, my foes and my adversaries, who stumbled and fell.
3   Though an army should encamp against me, yet my heart shall not be afraid;
4   And though war should rise up against me, yet will I put my trust in him.
5   One thing have I asked of the LORD; one thing I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life;
6   To behold the fair beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
7   For in the day of trouble he shall keep me safe in his shelter; he shall hide me in the secrecy of his dwelling and set me high upon a rock.
8   Even now he lifts up my head above my enemies round about me.
9   Therefore I will offer in his dwelling an oblation with sounds of great gladness; I will sing and make music to the LORD.
10   Hearken to my voice, O LORD, when I call; have mercy on me and answer me.
11   You speak in my heart and say, "Seek my face." Your face, LORD, will I seek.
12   Hide not your face from me, nor turn away your servant in displeasure.
13   You have been my helper; cast me not away; do not forsake me, O God of my salvation.
14   Though my father and my mother forsake me, the LORD will sustain me.
15   Show me your way, O LORD; lead me on a level path, because of my enemies.
16   Deliver me not into the hand of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen up against me, and also those who speak malice.
17   What if I had not believed that I should see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!
18   O tarry and await the LORD'S pleasure; be strong, and he shall comfort your heart; wait patiently for the LORD.

The Forward Day by Day Meditation for July 30, 2016

Matthew 28:16-17 (NRSV) Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.

When the disciples saw Jesus, they worshiped him, but even in worship, some had their doubts. And that was okay.

Doubt is okay. Questions are good. Doubt is not the opposite of faith, and doubt cannot kill hope. Doubt is a useful emotion that triggers us to question and to be certain we are on the right path.

Think of doubt as a median strip. It is there to keep us from driving onto the wrong side of the highway. We use it to orient ourselves to others and to navigate the course of our travels.

When you doubt, seek wisdom. James tells us that the wisdom of God is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality or hypocrisy (James 3:17). That sort of wisdom will always lead us back to the face, hands, and feet of Jesus.

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Standing Strong Through the Storm - THE FREEING BEAUTY OF FORGIVENESS

"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." Matthew 18:35

In Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, a street-witnessing team became involved in an extraordinary situation. A young Mexican called Samuel would walk for two hours each day to join them and act as an interpreter. They discovered that Samuel's mother and sister had been murdered and that he witnessed the killings but, despite trying to intervene, was unable to stop them. He said he knew the man who did it.

He had a desire to go and avenge the killings, but then became a Christian and his whole attitude changed. He began a Bible study group now attended by twenty people. On the final night of the meetings, he saw the man he believed had murdered his mother and sister go forward to receive Jesus Christ as his Savior. Samuel made his way through the throng of people and shook his hand and welcomed him “into the Kingdom.” Samuel was able to forgive him.

In Jesus’ teaching, there is little doubt that, as a Christian, I MUST forgive those who have wronged me. Then our human, time-bound minds cry out with the loud fleshly inquiry—“WHY?”

Again Philip Yancey points out that through the process of forgiveness we realize we are not as different from the wrongdoer as we would like to think. And we end up linked on the same side.

In essence, God linked Himself with us humans in the incarnation. Somehow God had to come to terms with these creatures He desperately wanted to love. On earth, living among us, he learned what it was like to be human—yet without sin. But He put Himself on our side. God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us.

Forgiveness is a key component of the victorious, overcomer. This is the way of the cross to becoming “more than conquerors.”

As a young Christian in Cambodia, Cham witnessed a Khmer Rouge soldier—a youth he knew from school—bludgeon his mother to death by hitting her repeatedly over the head with a wooden board.

Cham suffered from severe depression over memories of that incident for many months. But eventually the Lord helped him gain victory over it.

Ten years later, Cham was walking down the main street of Phnom Penh and saw that young man who had killed his mother. The young man was very fearful of revenge when he recognized Cham approaching him. With moist eyes Cham looked at him and said, “In the name of Jesus, I forgive you!” Cham was free.

RESPONSE: I accept today that forgiveness is a must for me as a follower of Jesus.

PRAYER: Thank you, Lord, for so many rich examples of the freeing beauty of forgiveness.

Verse of the Day - July 30, 2016

Matthew 5:14,16 (NIV) “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Read all of Matthew 5