Joel 2:1–32
Do not be afraid, land of Judah; be glad and rejoice. Surely the LORD has
done great things!Joel 2:21
In the midst of calamity, of living with the consequences of sin, the prophet
Joel reminds us not to be afraid, but rather to be glad and rejoice, for “the
LORD has done great things!” This is a great reminder for me in marriage.
Okay, my marriage doesn’t usually feel like a calamity. But at times it has
felt impossible . . . like a mistake… like a mess. It has felt, to borrow an
image from Joel, like a horde of locusts has come in and taken over
everything.
Our most recent rough patch was over nothing. I think the immediate cause was
sleep deprivation and too many evening meetings at church and work. Griff and I
just got stuck, like a needle on a broken record. For about three days, we
couldn’t exchange a pleasant word, let alone a loving one.
We had lost our sense of being a team. Each, I think, was thinking, “I’m
contributing way more here.” One of us was thinking, “I do way more housework,”
and the other was thinking, “I slog away at work for endless hours to pay the
mortgage.” And together we were concluding, “Why do I put up with this? I’m not
getting anything out of it.” There were moments in that three-day period when I
seriously wondered if we would ever get through that horrible time. “This is how
we’ll be for the rest of forever,” I thought.
Our dissatisfaction was not only superficial but also sinful. We were
allowing ourselves to feel alienated from each other and to enjoy strangely
delicious feelings of self-righteous annoyance. I felt a little superior; I’m
sure Griff did too.
The prophet Joel told the people of Judah that unless they got their act
together (that is, repented), God would destroy them just as locusts had
destroyed their land.
At the time, I didn’t think God was waiting around to unleash lightning bolts
on our marriage. But unless Griff and I repented of our small sins—tetchiness,
selfishness, anger—our small sins would quickly become large sins that could do
serious harm to our marriage.
At times like that, I find it helpful to remember that the Lord has done
great things. He has done great things in our marriage. He has gotten us through
far worse patches than three days of clawing at each other.
Remembering that I
don’t have to be in control and that I should cede that control to God, who has
done great things, leads me to repent. After three days or three hours of
tetchiness, repentance can be as simple and profound as acknowledging that if I
let God into the situation, we won’t feel so stuck.
For me, the beginning of repentance is as basic as picturing Jesus walking
into the situation. Sometimes I do that when Griff and I are in the middle of a
squabble. Sometimes, I can’t get there until later, when I’m alone. Then I
replay the scene, the tension and the annoyance, and I envision Jesus showing
up. This is not just some imaginative exercise. It is a prayer, a plea for help.
And the God who does great things answers.
Lauren Winner
Let’s Talk
- What are some of the great things God has done in our marriage?
- What are some small sins in our marriage that sometimes threaten to turn
into big, destructive sins?
- How might inviting Jesus into our squabbles lead us to repentance? What
might change as a result
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